Itz all about perception

Mausam,
Itz been a while since I really wrote. What i mean is, lately since I have known what kind of regular audience my blog attracts I really don't feel like pouring myself out in open, well the counter argument is if I am really so concerned about my privacy then I should make this blog private. But I don't want to change the way I do things just because some people in this world have too much time on their hand, if some of you are here to know what is going on in my life, well pal you can always pick up the phone and have the guts to ask me, in case you don't, then you probably have too much time on your hand and you don't have better things to do. Let me be myself and stop making me think that my privacy is being invaded.

Anyways, now that we have addressed that issue let me move on to the title of this post "Itz all about perception". In the last 1 week the kind of mood swings that I have had will probably make a madman sane.
Right from the time I woke up at the start of the week, on monday morning, ( Why does technically Sunday is considered as the start of the week? whereas in reality everyone considers Monday to be the first day. I wanna know the story behind it.) Anyways, Monday morning around 8 o clock my head was spinning, i was feeling a bit cold and my throat felt a lil weird, i had a feeling that by evening i am going to be sick and that is exactly what happened. Throughout the journey from Boston to West Lafayette I kept thinking about all the things that I had to take care of- Housing, grades, friends, relatives,life, myself, finances, career, behavior, attitude and few other things which I cannot recollect right now.
By the time I reached my apartment at 2200 hours I was tired, cold, feverish and just sapped of any kind of energy. My rental company had another wonderful love letter waiting for me. The latest news with them is that they now want me to pay a total of about 1300$ in easy installments of about $325 every month. I do not want to get into the whys of that coz it will take another 30 minutes of my blog time. All I can say is that this time I am gonna do some talking to the people not working with Fleishchauer rentals.I don't know how big a role this good news had on my fever but as soon as I entered I straight went for the thermometer and I found out that I was hotting up at 103! I was on bed in no time with a dose of paracetamol. On Monday evening I did not felt like getting in touch with anyone. I probably have stopped caring for everyone around here, now to assume that I have been hurt by some of their actions well, hell yeah I have been. ( You readers, Don't give me gyan about life and people! I don't need that, keep your wisdom to yourself) Internally at some level I feel quite at peace. I do not care at all about what others think, I do not care what others do, I do not care how others will react.
The impending results which were expected within the next two days were a spot of constant bother. Me and studies will never ever get together. I used to think earlier that this is coz of the subjects maybe itz the fault of subjects like "Data Structures" that I am in a mess, I was under the perception that a subject like "Strategy" would be so much fun. Well sure Strategy is fun but the code of cracking exams in general is all the same and that is something which i have never ever come close to mastering. So I am as scared of exams and grades as I was during the spring of 1993 in Grade 7. I still remember that bicycle ride from home to St Joseph's Convent School, probably on that bike ride I discovered God.
Thankfully, as has always been the case, Waheguru has again pulled me through the miseries when he knew I would be totally lost without him. As things stand right now I think Waheguru has to help me in one last battle which is due in just over a month's time. What if he does not? well, I don't wanna talk about it.
Itz funny that before entering business school all I wanted to talk about was getting the internship or a job, but ever since I have been here the effort that I have put in has been minimal. After what Kenny said that "Ajj Kaim, itz all right. With us things always fall in place in the end, we all need to care about our exams". Kenny Singh that was God damn comforting and since that day I do not even care if I have an internship or not. Throughout this week the mood swings were strong and my logic on this particular topic swung as much as my temperature.
Tandisha came and took care of me more than probably my mom would. (Okay, that is an exaggeration but the bottom line is I do not know what I would have done without her being here.) Incidentally her boy friend came to visit her on monday for a week and the poor guy ended up spending more time cooking for me than spending time with his girlfriend. Maybe he came to earn some punn by taking care of a sick human being.
With the chance of spending a lot of time on bed, I soon got tired of all lying postures and every time I turned, the body aches did bring out the oohs and aahs ( Vinay said I am a good artist for voice-overs in a pornographic movie! well, no comments) The innumerable hours spent on the bed made me think about the kind of relationship that I share with my relatives. I hope someday I will be completely at ease with all of them, I will be as natural with them as I am with friends, I know in that setting I will rock, at least that is the belief I have had all these years!
As the week went on the temperature used to lower during the day and rise up close to 104 by late evening. A few hours of cold towels on the forehead always used to bring things back to under 100. The diagnosis which my personal doctor Ubee gave was that itz coz of sore throat and as always he was dead right. ( Itz funny whenever I am sick I always end up calling Ubee, never my bro or parents or Sandeep. Maybe coz Ubee always gives the correct solution impromptu and never asks troubling questions, as that is the last thing I want to hear when I am already burning from head to toe. Infact I do not want to answer uncomfortable questions even afterwards.)
I did ended up going to the medical center which I am sure will make a big hole in my pocket the day the bill arrives since I did not purchase the health insurance. I know I know, no health care in US is literally a crime but the money which was supposed to buy me health insurance was used in what appeared to be an appropriate task back then. Since now itz just over a month to go, there is no point shelling out huge amount of money. I am a good guy and Waheguru will take care of me as he always has.
It seems like I have been writing for a few hours now, I hate writing long posts but somehow this one has gone on and on. While I am at it. Soni Pabla's Gal Dil Di song has been a constant company (see listen here ). So today health wise I am back to normal temperature though the throat infection has taken over. And I have a strong feeling that over the next few days I will regret not learning the sign language as right now itz such a task to even utter a word. Antibiotics made in India have also joined forces and are helping me fight the latest disease. The only positive way I can play this sickness is that this is a God's way in coaxing me to get in touch with my professors at relatively the start of the module. I also will explore the power of gargles today (garraarey- is such a karaara word, isn't it?).
The only real good news of the week was that my bro celebrated his birthday. Regretfully I wasn't a part of the celebrations of any kind (Veerey, you are the best thing that has graced this earth. Without you, my life, if it would have existed till now, would have been truly miserable!) I always pray, hope that together we celebrate, share as many days as possible.

The next 1 month and a half is probably one of the most crucial phase and my mood swing barometer tells me that I wanna rock and roll like never before, I hope this perception that I have of my state of mind stays where it is coz if it takes a 360, I do not know how my life, thinking would be!

Regards,
Ajj Kaim Singh

KPS Gill - Thank you

Dear Mausam,

I want to thank Mr Kanwar Pal Singh Gill for completely destroying the game of hockey in india. The whole of nation is indebted of his able leadership. He has helped India achieve the impossible. First time in the history of Olympics, India's hockey team has not qualified. I am sure it must have been very difficult for him to ridicule, ill treat and abuse players of the caliber of Dhanraj Pillay, Ashish Ballal etc. to achieve his objective.
But you what, I am not really surprised. I had this confidence in him since the time he took over the reigns of the Indian Hockey League. After all I am fully aware of his antics during the time he were Supercop of Punjab ( link ).
I hope he will now finally relinquish his post and decide against sticking till 2010.
The positive is that with his latest adventure he has just dishonored the country in a sport called hockey, instead of killing innocent people.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim Singh

Fleischhauer Rentals in West Lafayette

Mausam Kaur,

Looking for a place to stay in a city where you know no one, is a pretty daunting task. There are a lot of pros and cons of one apartment building compared to the other. This is the summary of my experience with a rental company called Fleischhauer rentals.
Reading the reviews of various rental places on various websites was not of much help ,as nobody had a good opinion about any of the rental places around West Lafayette and coming from a big city I expected things to be a lot better than what was on offer.
Students in 2nd year in my program had carried out a survey about rental places in West Lafayette and distributed the results of the survey to all the incoming students. In that survey somebody had written "Fleischhauer is good" . I foolishly took that 3 word review to heart and reached straight for the Fleischhauer rental's office.
My first impression wasn't too bad. They were pretty professional in showing me the various apartments and within one hour I decided a place and gave them a deposit. The agony began the day I moved in. There was a really foul smell in the apartment and there was a bed which was the dirtiest thing that I had ever seen in my life and I thought maybe the smell was because of the bed. I pushed the bed outside of the house and into the garbage bin, which, for some reason, was placed 10 feet away from the entrance and was right outside one of the windows of my first floor apartment.
I complained at Fleischhauer's office about the smell and they said they will look into it, around the same time my school started and I got busy with classes. I largely ignored the smell and within 15 days after spraying about two bottles of room freshener the smell had gone. I was so occupied by smell and school work that I completely ignored the state of the refrigerator that I was given. The refrigerator was not keeping the food as cold as it should, I tried lowering the temperature but that seemed not to make any difference. I thought maybe I am so dumb that maybe I do not know how to operate a refrigerator and asked a friend of mine to examine it just to make sure that I was not missing something really stupid. As it turns out I and my friend concluded that the refrigerator is missing the defrost mechanism. Well I was surprised that how come to this day in US there are refrigerators installed in houses which do not have a defrost! I grew up in a third world country and we always had a refrigerator which either had a auto defrost or a switch which could be pressed for defrost.
I went to the Fleischhauer rentals office and asked about it and they said they will look into it. At this stage I was already 1 month into the program. A few repeated requests fell on deaf years and their attitude was a far cry from their attitude when I initially met them. Employees at Fleischhauer rental suggested I plug out the power cable of the refrigerator every time I want to defrost it and wait for the ice to melt. I have tried to see the manager and they have written my complaint about 4 times and have repeatedly promised that someone will contact me to talk about it, to this day I am still awaiting someone other than the receptionist to offer me some kind of explanation. I have thrown milk cans, juice bottles and various other food items which I had bought from Walmart after barely using them because they spoil so often in the refrigerator.
One fine day the microwave oven also stopped working. As if the course work at school wasn't enough this new problem destroyed whatever semblance of sense I had. I went to the office and lost it. With immense frustration and desperation I had no idea how I should behave with them. I asked them to fix my refrigerator, microwave and remove the garbage from in front of the house. They told me that the garbage cannot be removed as the location was decided by the municipal govt. and they promised to send someone to fix the refrigerator and microwave.
The mechanic came the next day and replaced the microwave, but said he cannot replace the refrigerator as there is nothing wrong with it! He said if I wanted to get rid of the ice then I need to plug it out and let it melt.
Employees of Fleischhauer rentals enter your house during anytime of the day to show your apartment to potential tenants without any prior notice. Last month they sent out notice that all the tenants will be charged a fine if dog's shit continues to lie outside in the common area. Consider the abnormality, I will have to pay because some stranger gets his dog to shit on public property which happens to be about 20 feet away from my house. I have tried getting in touch with certain William Fleischhauer who is the owner of the place but all I can find is the email address which is checked by the receptionist and the phone number which is again attended by the receptionist.
The irony is such that because of lack of options and time, I may end up renewing my lease with these money sucking, cold hearted illogical people. I hope I find some other decent place.
An advise to all new students @ Purdue. Avoid Fleischhauer rentals at all costs.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Obama mania is for real

Mausam Kaur Satshriakaal,

Barack Obama has now won 8 states in a row. 23 states out of 34. That is a phenomenal achievement for someone who is up against the Clintons. Such has been the effect of Barack Obama that he has made Bill Clinton look like just another power hungry politician. Bill Clinton lost a lot of credibility by terming Obama's campaign as a "fairytale" and comparing Obama's success with the success of another black candidate Jesse Jackson who unsuccessfully ran for president few decades ago.
I was introduced to Barack Obama in 2004 when he was campaigning for John Kerry. What caught my attention was that how a relatively unknown senator, who instead of campaigning for his senate seat in Illinois, was instead actively campaigning for Kerry all over the US, that was some confidence. I youtubed Barack Obama and found the speech he delivered at the Democratic National Convention that year, a speech- to this day is considered as the best speech that someone ever delivered, a truly inspiring account of his own life and his vision of America(See it here). I don't know how much he helped John Kerry but that speech was very much instrumental in helping Barack Obama reach where he is now.
I think Bill Clinton was not completely wrong when he termed Barack Obama's campaign as fairytale, it is a fairytale which has captured the imagination of all the people who have heard about it and want it to carry on. Barack's campaign and his speeches are like all "..and they lived happily ever after" movies, in which you really feel bad that they ended, you want them to go on and on and on.
A few years ago, when the idea that Barack Obama might run for presidency was still an imagination I again youtubed for Obama's videos (damn, this youtube and wikipedia are fast replacing google) And I found a video which was called "Celebrities for Barack Obama", Robert de Niro , Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey and Halle Berry spoke about their preference of Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton. In the same video (See here) George Clooney very effectively described as to what effect Barack's presence has over other politicians and that was mesmerizing.
I think what Obama has done is that he has inspired people in a way that I have never seen before. A very good music video by Black Eyed Peas lead singer has helped carry on the Barack momentum further(See it here). With his rather holy rhetoric he has set the expectations sky high for all the people who support him. He has shown himself to be not a politician, but a leader and that is a risky strategy.
It is fascinating to know that Barack after graduating from Harvard Law School, where he was the President of Harvard Law Review and when the world was his oyster, instead of finding a high profile, high paying job in say Washington or New York, he went back to Chicago and continued his work as community organizer and helping the poor fight for their rights. It takes a lot of guts to do something like that. Ask yourself to stop doing whatever you are doing right now and go ahead and work for the poor and get your hands dirty at the time when you think that yes finally this is the time for you to make money! I respect Barack just for this action.
Over the summer the republicans and democrats debated extensively about policies and positions. I agreed the most with Ron Paul in those information sessions. Ron Paul always called a spade a spade, and that is exactly why he did so poorly in elections. To become a President you have to be a politician (well India is an exception, where Presidents and Prime Ministers get nominated based on caste, color, religion, profession, region, weather, cricket, mood, Pakistan etc) Ron Paul always said what was truly right or wrong and that kind of statements do not make for a good politician. I am surprised Ron Paul has been elected on a republican ticket for last 10 times! In comparison though Barack's policy is not as correct as it should be but I strongly believe that he has a down to earth and logical head. Barack will use common sense all the time and will listen to the advise of the experts in every decision that he takes.(Thanks to Mr Bush, using common sense is also one of the most important criteria these days)
I am sure Bill and Hillary will rise up again and will use all their might to win in Ohio and Texas.
I hope Barack continues his winning streak and goes all the way to win the elections in November. But with Barack Obama you either support him enthusiastically or you do not support him at all. I hope Ohio and Texas help Obama win the nomination. Lets pray for Barack's success, he is the first politician whom I respect.

Mr Obama please don't become just another politician, I for the first time donated money for a political campaign, please don't disappoint us.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim Singh

America - A mecca for Corporate greed

Mausam,

I just came across an article here where it is mentioned that Time Warner intends to introduce a method where your monthly bill for internet services would be based on your usage. NBC also mentioned that the likes of Verizon, Comcast etc also intend to implement the same. Considering that I am one of those who have replaced television with internet as a source of entertainment, news etc it is not surprising that I am disappointed with this development.
The more I think about it, the more it boggles me that how in the world's most advanced country all the citizens are at a mercy of a few Corporate power houses. These internet service providers figured out that they can increase their profitability by charging heavy users while not changing the price charged from others. If they would have suggested that the price charged from everybody else would be lowered then that would have made sense but they will never do that as that would result in loss of considerable revenue!
If all of a sudden these companies have woken up to the fact that some users have been using bulk of the bandwidth and need to pay for that then why haven't they realized the same logic for the cellphone users. Why don't they introduce usage based billing for cellphone users and punish the people who have been clogging the airwaves and reducing the charges imposed on less frequent users, why am I forced to pay for the minutes that I have not used!
Why is the public transport system in US worse than India's?
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Remember '84?

Mausam satshriakaal,

Some time back Kenny sent me this link. According to which Amitabh Bachchan is accused of inciting the hindus to kill sikhs during the 1984 riots. According to the link All India Sikh Student Federation (AISSF) has come out with a documentary where they have claimed Big B's involvement in the massacre.
I am appalled by this new "revelation". After my initial shock I came to the conclusion that this is done more to garner eyeballs than anything else. I mean why in the world will Amitabh Bachchan do something like that. People are just trying to take advantage of AB's popularity and just trying to link his closeness to Gandhi family .

It is clear that Amitabh never liked the kind of politics that Gandhis played that is the reason back in the 80's he resigned from Lok Sabha even before he crossed the half way stage of his term!
It is sad that AISSF is resorting to such kind of gimmicks. AISSF which has a long history of helping the humanity right from pre independence days has lost itz way after the tumultuous years of terror in 80s. Instead of concentrating on people like Sajjan Kumar and Jagdish Tytler, the people whose involvement is an open secret AISSF is bringing in a new angle which does not make any sense at all!!!
After 23 long years the witnesses are finally coming out on camera and speaking out what they could not do over the past 2 decades out of fear of their lives. CNN-IBN has been at the forefront of this investigation and has been giving sleepless nights to atleast Mr Jagdish Tytler. I hope this link works as it traces back the history of the 84 riots case in about 4 videos.
I am sure Tytler must be cursing his stars as to how he has become the only visible culprit. There were 3000 official deaths which the Congress govt confessed to but the real number of Sikh deaths was way more than that. It is illogical to imagine Jagdish Tytler and Sajjan Kumar to be the only people who masterminded the whole massacre. But as luck would have it, Mr Tytler has become the token symbol of terror.
Though during the time of 84 riots I was too young to realize the gravity of the situation but now when I look back and discuss this with others I think that terrible incident completely changed the dynamics of Punjab. Youth was disillusioned by the system and wanted to fight back against the injustice thereby becoming extremists. Some of those affected who did not took the violent route decided to leave Punjab for good, resulting in migration of punjabi youth to places like Europe, UK Canada and US. Since that time the voice of a separate sikh state became shriller and Punjabi youth stopped joining the Indian army. Had Indira Gandhi not ordered the military to enter the premises of Golden Temple (Darbaar Saahib) the fate of so many people in North India would have been so different.
Though I do not recall the events of '84 but the subsequent years of terrorism are etched in my mind.(Btw the movie Maachis was a very apt description of Punjab's terrorism days) I do not think that justice delayed is justice denied. I am sure the families of the victims will agree with me on this.

If this case reaches it rightful conclusion I believe that will have a warning for Mr Modi to save his skin for the massacre he orchestrated in Gujrat.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Waheguru - gun gava nit tere

I am finally done with my exams. Done with two modules of business School. I do not want to start the sob story of how gruelling the last 6 months have been. So on a day when I had nothing better to do I decided to compile a few pictures and make a video out of it. I have been hooked on to the Kirtan by Bhai Harjinder Singh ji since a couple of days now. 3 Kirtan songs have been running on a loop. (one of the three song is in this clip)
I have been pretty stressed out since so quite some time now: Exams, assignments, routine studies etc. have been more than what I have ever been used to. Working was so much fun.
For some reason I have not listened to my voice mails in over a week now. Don't feel like traveling anywhere. Mood swings like always. I hope I get to normal ways sooner than later and I also hope to blog more regularly in the next few days.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

I want my......back

Mausam,

I want my sleep back,

I want my free time back,

I want my discretion to study back,

I want my freedom of traveling anywhere, anytime back,

I want my life back.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

"Unwanted Attention" goes public again

Ladies & Gentleman,

This is to bring to your notice that the dreary blog "Unwanted Attention" makes a comeback after a hiatus of about 4 months. The reason for the sudden exit and comeback are still unknown. As per the author "i just felt like it". In case you been wasting your time on this blog in the past then good news for you as you will get that opportunity again.

An update as to what has transpired in the author's life in the last 4 months:

Ajj Kaim has moved to a God forsaken place in the middle of a state called Indiana, a state which is recognized by it's proximity to a city called Chicago than anything else!
But Ajj Kaim likes the new place because he is a proud student of a university called Purdue University [wink & smug]
Though Ajj Kaim is back in school but his life has almost non-existent adventure quotient which is so unlike a student's life in school. All his time is consumed in books, more so because he has always been a slow learner. Ajj Kaim has been trying hard to grasp the various "interesting subjects" that he is studying, this struggle has already taken a toll on him as he is having a tough time following some of his other interests like....talking with friends, meeting new people, checking new websites, Bhangra, watching youtube videos,wasting time online and.....what else....oh yes...looking for an internship.
Ajj Kaim was in his elements only in the first two months of his stay in the new place now he has gone in his cocoon and is circumspect about devoting appropriate time to studies.
Ajj Kaim has been surprised by the number of students from india @ Purdue. Specially on US national holidays and on sunday evenings Ajj Kaim is amazed by the number of indians on campus as on these occasions indians outnumber the Americans.
Ajj Kaim has also been playing b'ball very regularly and considers playing b'ball the only thing he looks forward to every week. Ajj Kaim is still waiting for the day when he will be able to read the Microeconomics book at leisure (The subject was taught to him in the first module but he got terrible grades in the exam).
Ajj Kaim considers himself a terrible test taker and blames most of his disappointing grades to this.
Like all other places that he has been a habitat of, even at Purdue, Ajj Kaim is surrounded by a bunch of wonderful people whom he calls friends. Ajj Kaim still isn't sure if the MBA experience has changed him even one-bit.
Ajj Kaim hopes to write regularly from now on.
Regards,
Spokesperson for Ajj Kaim

aeMm Bee Aay

Itz been almost 3 months since i last posted something here.

3 crazy months later I am back, I don't know for how long...

I am very much in the thick of things of my MBA education. It has been an exhilarating, adventurous, tiring, frustrating, overwhelming, fulfilling experience so far and I am just 3 months into the program so far.
For someone who thought that 9 hours of sleep is a pre-requisite every night, things have really turned around a wee bit. Short naps at odd hours have been a regular phenomenon. I hope I get into some kind of a routine in the coming weeks.
In a class of 210 people I think by now I know about 80-100 people by name, I know itz not impressive at all but I think i have been a little too lazy and in my defense, I have been crazy busy all these days and also I don't go to bars to socialize so how in the world am i supposed to meet people! (I know itz a lame excuse.)

Things I love @ Purdue

Economics classes: Our professor is excellent, he makes every class so exciting. Itz a privilege to attend his lectures.

People: I love the people I hangout with. Like always in life, I have been lucky again to meet so many nice individuals and they are a reason enough to make this education a memorable experience.

Skill set: I love the idea of learning lot of new things everyday, be it something as rigorous as solving a quant problem or as mundane as knowing what match-sticks or match-boxes are called in US, every day has something new to offer.

Desism all around: There is no way that I can feel home sick @ purdue as the number of desis is over the top, there is no way I can crib for desi food as the options are aplenty.

Room-Department distance: I love the fact that my place is 5 minutes walking distance away from the department. It is so convenient in summers, I am sure I will love it even more in the next few months when snow would be the order of the day. No parking hassles and no waiting for the bus.

Co-Rec: This is the recreational facility at Purdue and without this my purdue experience would have been boring. This place is a stress buster. Multiple basketball courts ensure that no matter how busy the day/evening is, we always get to play.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

....

Mausam,

Itz 4 am here in Kitchener, Ontario. I am yet to sleep. I am with Rinni and Aman. They been fabulous hosts and I am so glad I came to meet them , but I am not myself. I feel lonely, tired, disturbed and restless. I am waiting for the 5th of August desperately. I wanna get busy. Perhaps the idea of one month of holiday wasn't all that great.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Winamp playing:
Beeteh Lamhein by KK
Mausam by Mithoon
Teri Tamanna by KK
The Train by Shaan
Woh Ajnabi by Mithoon (all tracks from Train)

What is the most important thing in life?

Hey Mausam,

What is the most important thing in life?


Happiness? Success? Health? Family & friends? Peace? Freedom?

Maybe all of these. I think its like when you get hurt on your finger you say to God, "Oh Lord why did you injure me on my finger, I can be relatively comfortable if I am injured anywhere else other than my finger!".

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Not good

I am tired, I am stressed out, I am feeling sick.

I don't like people invading my privacy, I don't want people to poke their nose into anything and everything but perhaps,like always, its my fault. Why do I not set limits for people, Why do i have a "chalta hai" attitude towards everything?

I need to work hard, I need to become selfish, I need to rise high.

Ajj Kaim

Life is fine

Mausam,

This poem is by Langston Hughes.
Dhiraj got this poem recorded for one of our application @ work and introduced me to this poem.
I also have a beautiful version of this poem recorded by a very fine recording artist in case you want it.

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

     But it was      Cold in that water!      It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

     But it was      High up there!      It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

    Life is fine!      Fine as wine!      Life is fine!

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

A period of transition is on

Satshriakaal Mausam,

For some reason the last few days have been an exercise in self reflection and the thought process is still going on; I am on a journey of finding myself. I think when I get involved in day to day activities I tend to get out of touch with myself, I suddenly forget the person I am! and it takes some time for me to remind myself of what my beliefs are and what do I stand for. This latest feeling of self introspection has been triggered by my interaction with a very good friend of my bro. Now I am re-analyzing my public behavior, my thought process and my social responses.
Things which were a taboo when I was 18 became normal when i turned 21, the actions which were a strict no-no became a routine by the time i turned 25 and now I think the next wave of change is happening. I would like to believe that this change has always been positive but only time will tell. I know I still have to work on a lot of things; The stubbornness is still rock solid, I still get too attached with people, I still keep my wounds of the past open.
Off late I have thought a lot about the crazy time that I had between the age of 19 and 23. I have debated with myself a lot about how risky that environment was. I try to convince myself that those experiences were extremely valuable and the learnings of those experiences have been priceless but then I am thoughtless when I think that "would I want let my dear ones go through the same risky experience though I know it was so much valuable for me". I don't know if I will ever find the answer to this question.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Winamp plays: mann vich vasdey..sajna ve rehney akhiyaan tton dooor..tu ki jaaney sajna veh... mai ithe kinni majboor...

iSleep

Mausam Good Evening,

With temperatures hovering in the vicinity of 90 degrees, the summers are finally here. Most of the people in this part of the world head to the beach as soon as they find the mercury has risen. But I decided to stick to my old way of enjoying the summer, atleast for today.

What better way to enjoy a hot summer day than an afternoon siesta (Why does it always happen that whenever I think of sleep i am reminded of Birdi and his never ending sleeping sessions, he used to put Kumbhkaran to shame). I so much miss those memorable summer afternoons in Chandigarh. Be it the wonderful hot summer days spent in sector 37, or innumerable afternoons spent @ Narry's place in sector 36, or the unforgettable afternoons lived in Punjab University, all those days were magical. Now that I am thinking, I don't recall any unpleasant incident that happened on summer afternoons in Chandigarh!

Those were special times and I will cherish them forever.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Sabar Koti sings:
1. Tara Ambraan te koi koi eh...
2. O'Mausam vango badal gaye ji assi rukhaan vangu kharrey rahe...
3. Hanju'aan de vich gham paakey peena sikh leya...

I feel so bollywoodish today!

Mausam Kaur jindaabad...

Why do I remember the festival of color - Holi, every time I put Turmeric Powder (Yellow), Garam Masala Powder(Brown), Chili Powder(Red) and Common Salt(White) in any of the vegetables I make ? ....why at that precise moment I remember the colors shown in countless bollywood movies? (the recent one being Jhoom Barabar Jhoom). How come Bollywood is so spicy and colorful and hollywood is so mild and colorless? Why do I love the typical Bollywood sing-&-dance routine more and more with each passing day? How come I now love the dance moves of Govinda and Salman Khan more than ever?
I think now I have started watching the bollywood movies not for the story or to enjoy the cinematic excellence but I have started watching the desi movies as a celebration of our culture. A movie like Jhoom Barabar Jhoom which was devoid of any story or screenplay turned out to be quite entertaining for me coz I focused on the songs, the dances, the colorful dresses and the bright lights.
The years of nurturing on a diet of typical bollywood fare has seeped in my blood and no amount of hollywood tonic can change that now i guess. My expectation from a hollywood movie remains the same- To watch a great story enacted by excellent actors, well supported by director and other technicians but for Bollywood movies, story has become a luxury. I think I primarily watch hindi cinema for the atmosphere; if the film turns out to be as good as Munnabhai series or Rang de Basanti then that is a reason enough for repeat viewing.
The Leonardo Caprios, the Ben Afflecks of Hollywood will never be celebrities for me but I will go to great lengths to see the Deols, the Bachchans, the Khans, the Kapoors from Bollywood.

God, I feel so bollywoodish today!

Anyways, I am the head cook in the houshold now. My bro gets to taste all the spicy dishes that I cook and oh Boy does he hate the job! well the poor guy has no other choice. Anyways I love all that I cook so I think I can live with it, but I hate ironing the clothes. ( Mom why in the world you never taught me how to do that!) . I guess I will have to learn the most boring job in the world if I have to survive @ Purdue. Time to sign off now :-)

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Winamp playing :
Bol na Halke-halke from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
Jhoom from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
Kabira by Agnee

Bill Gates spoke at Harvard

Hey Mausam,
How you doing today? Mausam have you heard the keynote address delivered by Steve Jobs @ the commencement ceremony of Stanford University. It was a truly inspirational speech and you can view it here.
Bill Gates was the speaker @ Harvard yesterday for commencement, he was given an honorary degree and he also delivered an outstanding speech. I prefer not to write long posts here coz I don't want you to get bored reading long writeups but this speech is special if I edited it to make it short then the beauty of the speech would have lost.
Though this speech was addressed to the graduating class of 2007 @ Harvard but the ideas expressed here hold true for all the educated human beings of this planet. If you are good enough to read this post then you are good enough to follow the ideas shared by Bill Gates.
I request you to please read the whole of it, just once.

Bill Gates said ....
I've been waiting more than 30 years to say this: "Dad, I always told you I'd come back and get my degree."

I want to thank Harvard for this timely honour. I'll be changing my job next year ... and it will be nice to finally have a college degree on my resume.

I applaud the graduates today for taking a much more direct route to your degrees. For my part, I'm just happy that the Crimson has called me "Harvard's most successful dropout." I guess that makes me valedictorian of my own special class ... I did the best of everyone who failed.

But I also want to be recognised as the guy who got Steve Ballmer to drop out of business school. I'm a bad influence. That's why I was invited to speak at your graduation. If I had spoken at your orientation, fewer of you might be here today.

Harvard was just a phenomenal experience for me. Academic life was fascinating. I used to sit in on lots of classes I hadn't even signed up for. And dorm life was terrific. I lived up at Radcliffe, in Currier House. There were always lots of people in my dorm room late at night discussing things, because everyone knew I didn't worry about getting up in the morning. That's how I came to be the leader of the anti-social group. We clung to each other as a way of validating our rejection of all those social people.

Radcliffe was a great place to live. There were more women up there, and most of the guys were science-math types. That combination offered me the best odds, if you know what I mean. This is where I learned the sad lesson that improving your odds doesn't guarantee success.

One of my biggest memories of Harvard came in January 1975, when I made a call from Currier House to a company in Albuquerque that had begun making the world's first personal computers. I offered to sell them software.

I worried that they would realise I was just a student in a dorm and hang up on me. Instead they said: "We're not quite ready, come see us in a month," which was a good thing, because we hadn't written the software yet. From that moment, I worked day and night on this little extra credit project that marked the end of my college education and the beginning of a remarkable journey with Microsoft.

What I remember above all about Harvard was being in the midst of so much energy and intelligence. It could be exhilarating, intimidating, sometimes even discouraging, but always challenging. It was an amazing privilege - and though I left early, I was transformed by my years at Harvard, the friendships I made, and the ideas I worked on.

But taking a serious look back ... I do have one big regret.

I left Harvard with no real awareness of the awful inequities in the world - the appalling disparities of health, and wealth, and opportunity that condemn millions of people to lives of despair.

I learned a lot here at Harvard about new ideas in economics and politics. I got great exposure to the advances being made in the sciences.

But humanity's greatest advances are not in its discoveries - but in how those discoveries are applied to reduce inequity. Whether through democracy, strong public education, quality health care, or broad economic opportunity - reducing inequity is the highest human achievement.

I left campus knowing little about the millions of young people cheated out of educational opportunities here in this country. And I knew nothing about the millions of people living in unspeakable poverty and disease in developing countries.

It took me decades to find out.

You graduates came to Harvard at a different time. You know more about the world's inequities than the classes that came before. In your years here, I hope you've had a chance to think about how - in this age of accelerating technology - we can finally take on these inequities, and we can solve them.

Imagine, just for the sake of discussion, that you had a few hours a week and a few dollars a month to donate to a cause - and you wanted to spend that time and money where it would have the greatest impact in saving and improving lives. Where would you spend it?

For Melinda and for me, the challenge is the same: how can we do the most good for the greatest number with the resources we have.

During our discussions on this question, Melinda and I read an article about the millions of children who were dying every year in poor countries from diseases that we had long ago made harmless in this country. Measles, malaria, pneumonia, hepatitis B, yellow fever. One disease I had never even heard of, rotavirus, was killing half a million kids each year - none of them in the United States.

We were shocked. We had just assumed that if millions of children were dying and they could be saved, the world would make it a priority to discover and deliver the medicines to save them. But it did not. For under a dollar, there were interventions that could save lives that just weren't being delivered.

If you believe that every life has equal value, it's revolting to learn that some lives are seen as worth saving and others are not. We said to ourselves: "This can't be true. But if it is true, it deserves to be the priority of our giving."

So we began our work in the same way anyone here would begin it. We asked: "How could the world let these children die?"

The answer is simple, and harsh. The market did not reward saving the lives of these children, and governments did not subsidise it. So the children died because their mothers and their fathers had no power in the market and no voice in the system.

But you and I have both.

We can make market forces work better for the poor if we can develop a more creative capitalism - if we can stretch the reach of market forces so that more people can make a profit, or at least make a living, serving people who are suffering from the worst inequities. We also can press governments around the world to spend taxpayer money in ways that better reflect the values of the people who pay the taxes.

If we can find approaches that meet the needs of the poor in ways that generate profits for business and votes for politicians, we will have found a sustainable way to reduce inequity in the world. This task is open-ended. It can never be finished. But a conscious effort to answer this challenge will change the world.

I am optimistic that we can do this, but I talk to skeptics who claim there is no hope. They say: "Inequity has been with us since the beginning, and will be with us till the end - because people just ... don't ... care." I completely disagree.

I believe we have more caring than we know what to do with.

All of us here in this Yard, at one time or another, have seen human tragedies that broke our hearts, and yet we did nothing - not because we didn't care, but because we didn't know what to do. If we had known how to help, we would have acted.

The barrier to change is not too little caring; it is too much complexity.

To turn caring into action, we need to see a problem, see a solution, and see the impact. But complexity blocks all three steps.

Even with the advent of the Internet and 24-hour news, it is still a complex enterprise to get people to truly see the problems. When an airplane crashes, officials immediately call a press conference. They promise to investigate, determine the cause, and prevent similar crashes in the future.

But if the officials were brutally honest, they would say: "Of all the people in the world who died today from preventable causes, one half of one percent of them were on this plane. We're determined to do everything possible to solve the problem that took the lives of the one half of one percent."

The bigger problem is not the plane crash, but the millions of preventable deaths.

We don't read much about these deaths. The media covers what's new - and millions of people dying is nothing new. So it stays in the background, where it's easier to ignore. But even when we do see it or read about it, it's difficult to keep our eyes on the problem. It's hard to look at suffering if the situation is so complex that we don't know how to help. And so we look away.

If we can really see a problem, which is the first step, we come to the second step: cutting through the complexity to find a solution.

Finding solutions is essential if we want to make the most of our caring. If we have clear and proven answers anytime an organization or individual asks "How can I help?," then we can get action - and we can make sure that none of the caring in the world is wasted. But complexity makes it hard to mark a path of action for everyone who cares - and that makes it hard for their caring to matter.

Cutting through complexity to find a solution runs through four predictable stages: determine a goal, find the highest-leverage approach, discover the ideal technology for that approach, and in the meantime, make the smartest application of the technology that you already have - whether it's something sophisticated, like a drug, or something simpler, like a bed net.

The AIDS epidemic offers an example. The broad goal, of course, is to end the disease. The highest-leverage approach is prevention. The ideal technology would be a vaccine that gives lifetime immunity with a single dose. So governments, drug companies, and foundations fund vaccine research. But their work is likely to take more than a decade, so in the meantime, we have to work with what we have in hand - and the best prevention approach we have now is getting people to avoid risky behaviour.

Pursuing that goal starts the four-step cycle again. This is the pattern. The crucial thing is to never stop thinking and working - and never do what we did with malaria and tuberculosis in the 20th century - which is to surrender to complexity and quit.

The final step - after seeing the problem and finding an approach - is to measure the impact of your work and share your successes and failures so that others learn from your efforts.

You have to have the statistics, of course. You have to be able to show that a program is vaccinating millions more children. You have to be able to show a decline in the number of children dying from these diseases. This is essential not just to improve the program, but also to help draw more investment from business and government.

But if you want to inspire people to participate, you have to show more than numbers; you have to convey the human impact of the work - so people can feel what saving a life means to the families affected.

I remember going to Davos some years back and sitting on a global health panel that was discussing ways to save millions of lives. Millions! Think of the thrill of saving just one person's life - then multiply that by millions. ... Yet this was the most boring panel I've ever been on - ever. So boring even I couldn't bear it.

What made that experience especially striking was that I had just come from an event where we were introducing version 13 of some piece of software, and we had people jumping and shouting with excitement. I love getting people excited about software - but why can't we generate even more excitement for saving lives?

You can't get people excited unless you can help them see and feel the impact. And how you do that - is a complex question.

Still, I'm optimistic. Yes, inequity has been with us forever, but the new tools we have to cut through complexity have not been with us forever. They are new - they can help us make the most of our caring - and that's why the future can be different from the past.

The defining and ongoing innovations of this age - biotechnology, the computer, the Internet - give us a chance we've never had before to end extreme poverty and end death from preventable disease.

Sixty years ago, George Marshall came to this commencement and announced a plan to assist the nations of post-war Europe. He said: "I think one difficulty is that the problem is one of such enormous complexity that the very mass of facts presented to the public by press and radio make it exceedingly difficult for the man in the street to reach a clear appraisement of the situation. It is virtually impossible at this distance to grasp at all the real significance of the situation."

Thirty years after Marshall made his address, as my class graduated without me, technology was emerging that would make the world smaller, more open, more visible, less distant.

The emergence of low-cost personal computers gave rise to a powerful network that has transformed opportunities for learning and communicating.

The magical thing about this network is not just that it collapses distance and makes everyone your neighbor. It also dramatically increases the number of brilliant minds we can have working together on the same problem - and that scales up the rate of innovation to a staggering degree.

At the same time, for every person in the world who has access to this technology, five people don't. That means many creative minds are left out of this discussion -- smart people with practical intelligence and relevant experience who don't have the technology to hone their talents or contribute their ideas to the world.

We need as many people as possible to have access to this technology, because these advances are triggering a revolution in what human beings can do for one another. They are making it possible not just for national governments, but for universities, corporations, smaller organisation, and even individuals to see problems, see approaches, and measure the impact of their efforts to address the hunger, poverty, and desperation George Marshall spoke of 60 years ago.

Members of the Harvard Family: Here in the Yard is one of the great collections of intellectual talent in the world.

What for?

There is no question that the faculty, the alumni, the students, and the benefactors of Harvard have used their power to improve the lives of people here and around the world. But can we do more? Can Harvard dedicate its intellect to improving the lives of people who will never even hear its name?

Let me make a request of the deans and the professors - the intellectual leaders here at Harvard: As you hire new faculty, award tenure, review curriculum, and determine degree requirements, please ask yourselves:

Should our best minds be dedicated to solving our biggest problems?

Should Harvard encourage its faculty to take on the world's worst inequities? Should Harvard students learn about the depth of global poverty ... the prevalence of world hunger ... the scarcity of clean water ...the girls kept out of school ... the children who die from diseases we can cure?

Should the world's most privileged people learn about the lives of the world's least privileged?

These are not rhetorical questions - you will answer with your policies.

My mother, who was filled with pride the day I was admitted here - never stopped pressing me to do more for others. A few days before my wedding, she hosted a bridal event, at which she read aloud a letter about marriage that she had written to Melinda. My mother was very ill with cancer at the time, but she saw one more opportunity to deliver her message, and at the close of the letter she said: "From those to whom much is given, much is expected."

When you consider what those of us here in this Yard have been given - in talent, privilege, and opportunity - there is almost no limit to what the world has a right to expect from us.

In line with the promise of this age, I want to exhort each of the graduates here to take on an issue - a complex problem, a deep inequity, and become a specialist on it. If you make it the focus of your career, that would be phenomenal. But you don't have to do that to make an impact. For a few hours every week, you can use the growing power of the Internet to get informed, find others with the same interests, see the barriers, and find ways to cut through them.

Don't let complexity stop you. Be activists. Take on the big inequities. It will be one of the great experiences of your lives.

You graduates are coming of age in an amazing time. As you leave Harvard, you have technology that members of my class never had. You have awareness of global inequity, which we did not have. And with that awareness, you likely also have an informed conscience that will torment you if you abandon these people whose lives you could change with very little effort. You have more than we had; you must start sooner, and carry on longer.

Knowing what you know, how could you not?

And I hope you will come back here to Harvard 30 years from now and reflect on what you have done with your talent and your energy. I hope you will judge yourselves not on your professional accomplishments alone, but also on how well you have addressed the world's deepest inequities ... on how well you treated people a world away who have nothing in common with you but their humanity.

Good luck.

I will keep coming back to the this post for as long as I have this blog and measure how I am fairing as regards to the responsibilities discussed in this speech.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Yummy

Mausamji Satshriakaal,
Motichoor de laddoo never tasted sweeter, Ludhiana special "Dhodha" never tasted any better and desi ghee de biscuits(peepey wale biscuits) found a new respect. This is what happens when you stay one year away from your place of origin. The things you miss the most are the things you have least access to. Thanks Arjun and thanks Hyoti.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim Singh

Niagara Falls!

Mausam Kaur! Satshriakaal,

When was the last time I had such a good time at a tourist destination? Maybe Goa.

One word for the Niagara Falls experience?: Awesome!
Tips: Prefer touring as a part of a big group and make sure you have some live-wire in your group.
Observation: I saw more angrej in Indian tourist destinations than I saw at Niagara Falls. This place was FLOODED with Indians! When I say "flooded" then it means that more than 70% of people were Desiz! No chinese and hardly any Europeans.
I think the good thing is that Niagara Falls is in U.S. coz Americans know how to take care of their tourist places. It was very interesting to see the fair skinned white dudes playing host and a sea of brown skinned, hair oil enriched desis playing the guest! How often does that happen? :-)
Until next time,
Regards,
AjjKaim

Kenny Graduates...

Time : 6:50pm (EST)
Location : Rochester,NY
Occasion : Kenny's graduation

Dear Mausam,

Today is a special day. Kenny graduated from Rochester Institute of Technology. (and if I may mention Fmr President Bill Clinton was the guest speaker)
RIT is considered extremely reputed for technical courses in this part of the world and I think Kenny has truly come a long way.
When I was watching Kenny go up the stage to receive his degree I remembered the day a few years ago; I, Kenny and Narry were sitting @ Narry's place and were figuring out ways for Kenny to get out of the hole of re-appears as his exams were just a few days away. Probably that was the day when he had FINALLY decided that "no matter what happens I am gonna get my life back on track". Since then Itz been an interesting journey, for all 3 of us.
For Kenny that was a cruel time, he was up against a mountain of workload, had an immense pressure to succeed, and had to prove to himself and everyone else that he was as good as everyone thought he was.
Gladly Kenny did that in style, If getting admitted to RIT wasn't an accomplishment in itself then I think graduating in record time after few initial hiccups, is a task which takes some doing.
Congratulations Kenny Singh!
While i am in this upbeat mood(I hope it lasts for a while) I have been thinking of what Balraj Singh said to me some years ago (I also blogged about it here) "in life v face many problems which depress us....We shouldn't always wait for the ultimate day when v will be completely happy...coz that day will never come as then v will be immersed completely in a new set of problems...so v should try to capture little moments which make us happy......" and by the way, Balraj Baijee belated Happy Birthday and Best of Luck for your exams. May our prayers help you in achieving all the success that you richly deserve.
and Manpreet thanks for teaching me the mool mantar, coz itz comforting at the time of stress.

1 day down, 2 more to go in Rochester. Manu arrives early morning tomorrow. We will rock!

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Indian politics is funny

Satshriakaal Mausam,

Chandrababu Naidu, who became the poster boy of "India rising" and was fondly referred as CEO of Andhra Pradesh LOST his re-election 2 years ago. The man who made the government machinery completely transparent, brought accountability in government and left no stone unturned in bringing industry into Andhra Pradesh finds himself sitting in opposition. On the other hand, people like Mayawati, Prakash Singh Badal win the elections when the only thing they talk about is "how corrupt the other person is!" Mayawati will rule Uttar Pradesh for 5 years now and I have an inkling that religious tensions are going to become the order of the day.
Itz been 2 months since Badal's government tookover and the first religious tensions have erupted. It is said that "Sant Gurmit Ram Rahim Singh the leader of Sacha sauda sect proclaimed himself as the 10th Guru." As expected this has triggered massive protests all across north india. Understandably every Sikh is hurt by this and I am one of them.

The interesting thing to consider here is that during the Punjab elections a lot of media attention was gathered by this same religious sect. Psephologists predicted a victory for Congress in the Malwa belt coz the Dera's leader had pledged his support for the Congress government, and thatz what exactly happened. For the first time Akali's lost in the Malwa region.
So itz not just an issue about a Saint proclaiming himself to be a Sikh Guru, there is more to it. Why has the Congress leaders decided to stay mum about this issue so far???
"Hey Ms Bhattal/Mr Amarinder do you think what the so called Saint did was right?". They obviously do not want to harm their new found base in Malwa belt which supported their party when they most needed, so that explains their reluctance in taking sides. Mr Badal and his men have managed to project this incident in such a way that it has become impossible for the congress leaders to call it as Mr Badal's revenge against the Dera's Saint.
And where does that leave Sant Gurmit Ram Rahim Singh in this melee?
Well now when I look at it from a different perspective I feel so sorry for the poor chap. He seems to be a small time trickster who made it big thanks to some innovative marketing and good fortune. The Punjab elections were his crowning glory as he almost became a King maker (a heady feeling for any Punjabi). but Badal's acumen was far superior than this Self-proclaimed-Guru's craft. The only place for him to go now is....down.
Note:I am in no way saying that this Gurmit-Ram-Rahim watever guy is innocent. He is an idiot who thinks himself to be some superior soul and his practices are wrong and he needs to be punished for his deeds, but this incident is just not about him.Itz the bigger picture which needs to be looked at.
Mr Badal again has won another round by rudely crushing his opposition by using the right dose of religion and emotions. He had earlier killed two birds with one stone by inducting his young family members in the cabinet; ensuring that the critics who questioned his age will now silence coz now he had young leaders taking charge and he also managed to control his hold over the party. So now no chance of certain Tohra questioning his dynastic rule and breaking his party. (Did Tohra really die of a heart attack?)
Mr Badal now you can go about creating estates in Australia and California, you are the undisputed winner for the next 5 years.
Regards,
Ajj Kaim

P.S.: When will Punjab get to see an inspirational leader like Barack Obama?

Don't Thank back

Mausam,

When will I learn that if someone says "Thank you", then I am supposed to say "My Pleasure" or "You are Welcome"; I am not supposed to thank them back!

Ideas have dried up, I am tired of my own jokes, my lines are stale and this blog is boring.

Regards,
Ajj Kaim

Jon Stewart says...

Dear Mausam,

Following is the excerpt from Bill Moyers's interview of Jon Stewart(You can watch the full interview here ). Jon Stewart is the host of Daily Show, which has become a cult here i